{"id":245,"date":"2016-12-10T10:21:37","date_gmt":"2016-12-10T09:21:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/?p=245"},"modified":"2017-09-15T07:13:20","modified_gmt":"2017-09-15T06:13:20","slug":"o-lasce-smrti-a-odkladani-veci-na-pak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/?p=245","title":{"rendered":"O l\u00e1sce, smrti a odkl\u00e1d\u00e1n\u00ed v\u011bc\u00ed na pak"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>(uveden\u00e9 osoby \u2013 jakkoli by se mohly zd\u00e1t re\u00e1ln\u00e9 \u2013 jsou smy\u0161len\u00e9)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Z\u00a0cel\u00e9ho dne prosp\u00edme n\u011bjak\u00fdch 8 hodin, ti m\u00e9n\u011b \u0161\u0165astni dal\u0161\u00edch 8 hodin str\u00e1v\u00ed prac\u00ed, kter\u00e1 je nebav\u00ed, a ze zb\u00fdvaj\u00edc\u00edch 8 h \u010d\u00e1st v\u011bnuj\u00ed \u00faklidu, va\u0159en\u00ed, u\u010den\u00ed se s\u00a0potomky a mo\u017en\u00e1 zbude \u010das i na relax, do kter\u00e9ho nepo\u010d\u00edt\u00e1m kouk\u00e1n\u00ed na televizi, kter\u00e1 nic kloudn\u00e9ho nep\u0159in\u00e1\u0161\u00ed, ale posezen\u00ed s\u00a0p\u0159\u00e1teli, tanec, kreslen\u00ed, cokoli n\u00e1s dok\u00e1\u017ee p\u0159en\u00e9st na chv\u00edli do sv\u011bta, kde se c\u00edt\u00edme b\u00fdt \u0161\u0165astni. Den je kr\u00e1tk\u00fd.<\/p>\n<p>A \u017eivot? Mezi oslavami narozenin (nebo V\u00e1noc) je jen 365 kr\u00e1tk\u00fdch dn\u00ed. Takov\u00fdch period za \u017eivot stihneme sedmdes\u00e1t? Osmdes\u00e1t p\u011bt?<em> \u201e\u017divot je p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 kr\u00e1tk\u00fd, ne\u017e abychom ho str\u00e1vili h\u00e1dkami,\u201c<\/em> \u0159\u00edk\u00e1vala kamar\u00e1dka b\u011bhem m\u00e9 praxe v\u00a0\u010cSOB a nar\u00e1\u017eela na h\u00e1dky s\u00a0mou prvn\u00ed p\u0159\u00edtelkyn\u00ed. <strong>Byl jsem mlad\u00fd a hloup\u00fd.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Do v\u011bty ale m\u016f\u017eeme dosadit cokoli. \u017divot je p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 kr\u00e1tk\u00fd, ne\u017e abychom ho vyplnili:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>odkl\u00e1d\u00e1n\u00edm v\u011bc\u00ed na pak<\/li>\n<li>st\u00fdk\u00e1n\u00edm se z\u00e1vistiv\u00fdmi a\u00a0nep\u0159ej\u00edc\u00edmi lidmi<\/li>\n<li>pr\u00e1zdn\u00fdmi sliby (o hubnut\u00ed, o byt\u00ed \u0161\u0165astn\u00fdmi, o vytou\u017een\u00e9 dovolen\u00e9, \u2026)<\/li>\n<li>pit\u00edm nekvalitn\u00edho v\u00edna<\/li>\n<li><em>\u2026<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A i p\u0159es to, \u017ee je \u017eivot kr\u00e1tk\u00fd, lid\u00e9 ho tr\u00e1v\u00ed v\u00a0nevyhovuj\u00edc\u00edch vztaz\u00edch jen proto, aby nebyli sami.<\/p>\n<p>P\u0159ed lety jsem m\u011bl vztah s\u00a0\u017eenou, kter\u00e1 mi obden \u0159\u00edk\u00e1vala, jak je se mnou \u0161\u0165astn\u00e1. Nebylo to d\u00e1rky \u2013 bylo to d\u00edky pozornosti, kterou jsem j\u00ed v\u011bnoval, d\u00edky spole\u010dn\u011b tr\u00e1ven\u00e9mu \u010dasu a touze znovu a znovu se v\u00eddat, d\u00edky op\u011btovan\u00e9 l\u00e1sce, kter\u00e1 byla v\u0161udyp\u0159\u00edtomn\u00e1. Rozum\u011bli jsme si ve v\u0161em. Rozjel jsem n\u00e1dhern\u00fd vztah a myln\u011b se domn\u00edval, \u017ee svou setrva\u010dnost\u00ed pob\u011b\u017e\u00ed s\u00e1m. Po roce jsem mu p\u0159estal v\u011bnovat takovou pozornost, jakou by zaslou\u017eil, a \u010d\u00e1st jsem j\u00ed p\u0159esunul k\u00a0pr\u00e1ci. <strong>Byl jsem workoholik.<\/strong> Neuv\u011bdomoval jsem si, \u017ee o vztah je nutno pe\u010dovat\u2026 Kv\u011btin\u011b taky nepom\u016f\u017ee, pokud j\u00ed d\u00e1te jednou za m\u011bs\u00edc 5 litr\u016f vody. I o kv\u011btinu se mus\u00ed pe\u010dovat dennodenn\u011b.<\/p>\n<p>V\u00a0t\u00e9 dob\u011b jsem m\u011bl probl\u00e9m se \u017elu\u010dn\u00edkem a jednou o p\u016flnoci se nechal hospitalizovat. Byla to bolest tak \u0161\u00edlen\u00e1, \u017ee jsem trval na tom, aby m\u011b v\u00a0p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b smrti neresuscitovali, proto\u017ee jsem ji necht\u011bl za\u017e\u00edt v\u00a0\u017eivot\u011b podruh\u00e9. B\u00e1l jsem se smrti. <strong>Byl jsem stra\u0161pytel.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Cel\u00fd \u017eivot jsem se j\u00ed b\u00e1l. Bunjee jumping? Skv\u011bl\u00fd n\u00e1pad, ale mohl bych zem\u0159\u00edt, tak\u017ee ne \u2013 d\u00edky. J\u00edzda na motorce? L\u00e1kav\u00e9\u2026 ale ne \u2013 d\u00edky. Drogy? P\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 m\u011b l\u00e1kali\u2026 Te\u010f u\u017e v\u00edm, \u017ee to p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 nebyli. A takov\u00fdch situac\u00ed m\u00e1 ka\u017ed\u00fd dost, kdy s\u00a0ohledem na sebe nebo sv\u00e9 bl\u00edzk\u00e9 neriskuje.<\/p>\n<p>Po operaci jsem se probudil a zjistil, \u017ee jsem p\u0159i\u0161el o \u017elu\u010dn\u00edk a p\u0159\u00edtelkyni. Opustila m\u011b v\u00a0nejt\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00ed chv\u00edli \u017eivota. Nem\u016f\u017eu j\u00ed nic zazl\u00edvat, proto\u017ee to j\u00e1 se choval nezodpov\u011bdn\u011b, kdy\u017e jsem d\u00e1val p\u0159ednost pr\u00e1ci p\u0159ed vztahem, nekyp\u0159il jej ka\u017ed\u00fd den, ned\u00e1val mu slune\u010dn\u00ed svit, ale v\u011bnoval se klient\u016fm, tabulk\u00e1m a v\u00fdpis\u016fm z\u00a0\u00fa\u010dtu. <strong>Byl jsem idiot. <\/strong>Neztratil jsem z\u00e1jem o svou l\u00e1sku, ale prac\u00ed jsem zast\u00ednil kv\u00edt\u00ed sv\u00e9ho \u017eivota. Ano, pr\u00e1ce je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e1 \u2013 plat\u00ed n\u00e1m \u00fa\u010dty \u2013 ale ta m\u00edra, s\u00a0jakou \u010das d\u011bl\u00edme mezi rodinu a pracovn\u00ed z\u00e1vazky, je d\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed.<\/p>\n<p>Neboj\u00edm se smrti. I ta nejkrut\u011bj\u0161\u00ed bolest, kv\u016fli kter\u00e9 jsem se tehdy o p\u016flnoci v\u00e1lel v\u00a0\u010dek\u00e1rn\u011b ambulance, nen\u00ed toti\u017e ni\u010d\u00edm ve srovn\u00e1n\u00ed s\u00a0bolest\u00ed, kdy\u017e p\u0159ijdete o vztah, kter\u00fd pova\u017eujete za osudov\u00fd. Po \u010dase jsem se dostal z\u00a0tr\u00e1pen\u00ed, pochopil, \u017ee Ona m\u00e1 pr\u00e1vo na nov\u00fd vztah, a otev\u0159el se nov\u00e9mu vztahu. \u017d\u00e1dn\u00fd nebyl tak dokonal\u00fd, \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 nedok\u00e1zala zast\u00ednit Jej\u00ed v\u00fdjime\u010dnost. Ostatn\u011b \u2013 nebyla dokonal\u00e1 \u2013 ale pr\u00e1v\u011b v\u00a0t\u00e9 nedokonalosti spo\u010d\u00edval ten p\u016fvab jinak dokonal\u00e9 bytosti.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>\u201eNehledej dokonal\u00fd vztah. Z\u00a0toho sou\u010dasn\u00e9ho ten dokonal\u00fd vytvo\u0159.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n<p>V\u00a0r\u00e1mci \u00faslov\u00ed jsem za\u010dal hledat v\u00a0nov\u00e9m vztahu, kter\u00fd zat\u00edm nesah\u00e1 tomu p\u016fvodn\u00edmu po ledviny, to hezk\u00e9. Nach\u00e1zel jsem denn\u011b n\u011bco nov\u00e9ho a zaj\u00edmav\u00e9ho, n\u011bco p\u0159ekvapuj\u00edc\u00edho, ale obden i n\u011bco negativn\u00edho. Star\u00fd vtip \u0159\u00edk\u00e1, \u017ee \u017eena dok\u00e1\u017ee Z\u00a0NI\u010cEHO ud\u011blat 3 v\u011bci: klobouk, sal\u00e1t a h\u00e1dku. Kdy\u017e \u017eijete s\u00a0n\u011bk\u00fdm, kdo vl\u00e1dne um\u011bn\u00ed uva\u0159it h\u00e1dku z\u00a0vody, m\u00e1te zad\u011bl\u00e1no na mal\u00e9r.<\/p>\n<p>Nem\u00e1m r\u00e1d h\u00e1dky \u2013 nechci se h\u00e1dat \u2013 a to j\u00ed d\u00e1valo energii. Z\u00a0p\u016fvodn\u00ed h\u00e1dky na t\u00e9ma M\u00c1ME V\u00a0KUCHYNI O STUPE\u0147 NI\u017d\u0160\u00cd TEPLOTU se tak stala nov\u00e1 h\u00e1dka s\u00a0titulem NECHCE\u0160 SE H\u00c1DAT.<\/p>\n<p>Mo\u017en\u00e1 to n\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed zn\u00e1te, kdy\u017e se V\u00e1m \u010dlov\u011bk v\u00a0okol\u00ed sna\u017e\u00ed klidn\u011b a ti\u0161e vysv\u011btlit, jak\u00fd idiot vlastn\u011b jste, ale on s\u00e1m je dokonal\u00fd, proto\u017ee to p\u0159eci s\u00a0V\u00e1mi mysl\u00ed dob\u0159e.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>\u201eMil\u00e1\u010dku, stihla si zaplatit to n\u00e1jemn\u00e9, kter\u00e9 jsem ti dnes p\u0159evedl na \u00fa\u010det?\u201c pt\u00e1m se.<br \/>\n\u201eVypad\u00e1m snad jako n\u011bjak\u00e1 kr\u00e1va?!! Jako \u017ee neum\u00edm ani zaplatit n\u00e1jemn\u00e9?!! Co si o mn\u011b jako mysl\u00ed\u0161?!!! \u2026 Cel\u00fd den mak\u00e1m v\u00a0pr\u00e1ci, sotva se zastav\u00edm!!!\u201c<br \/>\n\u201eTo bylo ano, nebo ne?\u201c<br \/>\n\u201eTy si ze m\u011b d\u011bl\u00e1\u0161 prdel?!! P\u0159ijdu z\u00a0pr\u00e1ce, mus\u00edm se naj\u00edst, p\u0159evl\u00e9ct, \u2026\u201c<br \/>\n\u201eZaplatila jsi to n\u00e1jemn\u00e9?!\u201c<br \/>\n\u201eAno.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Neboj\u00edm se smrti. Neboj\u00edm se b\u00fdt s\u00e1m. Boj\u00edm se, \u017ee dny a t\u00fddny tr\u00e1v\u00edm s\u00a0nespr\u00e1vn\u00fdm \u010dlov\u011bkem. A\u010d tomu vztahu d\u00e1v\u00e1m pozornost, kyp\u0159\u00edm ho a sna\u017e\u00edm se vyvarovat chyb z\u00a0toho p\u0159edchoz\u00edho, m\u00e1m pocit, \u017ee zrovna tady jsme se potkali, abychom se n\u011bco m\u00e1lo nau\u010dili a \u0161li d\u00e1l. Jej\u00edm \u00fakolem je mo\u017en\u00e1 nau\u010dit se komunikovat a m\u00fdm \u00fakolem je trp\u011bt. Ostatn\u011b: ona v\u00a0klidu sp\u00ed v\u00a0lo\u017enici v\u00a015 stupn\u00edch s\u00a0otev\u0159en\u00fdm oknem (je prosinec!) a ignoruje fakt, \u017ee mn\u011b je zima. A j\u00e1 se nechci h\u00e1dat. Tak sed\u00edm ve 2 h r\u00e1no v\u00a0pracovn\u011b a p\u00ed\u0161u \u010dl\u00e1nek, abych si po jej\u00edm odchodu do pr\u00e1ce mohl v\u00a05 h v\u00a0lo\u017enici zatopit a j\u00edt sp\u00e1t. Kocour se schoulil na m\u016fj kl\u00edn\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jen\u017ee\u2026 Kde je ta hranice? Kdy m\u00e1 \u010dlov\u011bk je\u0161t\u011b bojovat o vztah a kdy m\u00e1 kapitulovat? Kdy sm\u00ed doufat, \u017ee boj m\u00e1 smysl, ale kdy m\u00e1 vzd\u00e1t svou v\u00e1lku s\u00a0prostotou, ignorac\u00ed, netoleranc\u00ed, h\u00e1davost\u00ed?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Co byste \u0159ekli Smrti, kdyby si pro V\u00e1s p\u0159i\u0161la? <strong>Kdysi<\/strong> bych se tvrd\u011b h\u00e1dal, argumentoval ve t\u0159ech jazyc\u00edch, \u017ee je brzo, nesebekriticky vytvo\u0159il seznam 158 jin\u00fdch lid\u00ed, kte\u0159\u00ed by m\u011bli dostat p\u0159ednost. <strong>Dneska<\/strong> bych \u0159ekl: <em>\u201eJasn\u011b \u2013 poj\u010fme. V\u00fdjime\u010dnost a p\u016fvab onoho vztahu zast\u00ednily ve\u0161kerou bolest. Vlastn\u011b: i p\u0159es to v\u0161echno BYL JSEM \u0160\u0164ASTN\u00dd.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(uveden\u00e9 osoby \u2013 jakkoli by se mohly zd\u00e1t re\u00e1ln\u00e9 \u2013 jsou smy\u0161len\u00e9) Z\u00a0cel\u00e9ho dne prosp\u00edme n\u011bjak\u00fdch 8 hodin, ti m\u00e9n\u011b \u0161\u0165astni dal\u0161\u00edch 8 hodin str\u00e1v\u00ed prac\u00ed, kter\u00e1 je nebav\u00ed, a ze zb\u00fdvaj\u00edc\u00edch 8 h \u010d\u00e1st v\u011bnuj\u00ed \u00faklidu, va\u0159en\u00ed, u\u010den\u00ed se s\u00a0potomky a mo\u017en\u00e1 zbude \u010das i na relax, do kter\u00e9ho nepo\u010d\u00edt\u00e1m kouk\u00e1n\u00ed na televizi, kter\u00e1&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ze-zivota"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=245"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":265,"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/245\/revisions\/265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radim.martynek.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}